It has come to my attention that some men are unable to properly eat the vagina. I blame it on the women. I mean if women would tell these muthafuckas when they are doing something wrong, then maybe they would know how to do some shit right. Fuck it! I'll tell yo ass! Consider the following a short tutorial. I’m not saying that this is the one and only way to eat some pussy, because a true Pussy Sucker is an Artist and needs no guidance. Take this as my personal account and experience. Now, I do have to let you know that every time I’ve received some head, it was a different type of experience...every single time. So if you decide that pussy licking is your calling, then you will find your own way of pleasing your sexual partner, thus making you an Artist as well. Now come on, lets lick the Poon Poon!
First of all, do NAUGHT, get you ass down there and start licking that pussy like a kitten lapping up milk. Eating pussy starts before you even get her panties off. What you want to do is kiss her softly and passionately on her lips. Some women say they don’t like kissing, but BULLSHIT! If she doesn’t want to kiss you, then find out where her spot is and kiss that. Suck, twirl your tongue, and make your mouth hot. This is just practice for what you are gonna do to her Pearl Tounge.
At the same time you are kissing that spot you wanna make sure to rub those titties. Don’t do it all hard either! Titties are sensitive and should not be abused. So, rub and massage those titties and start to kiss and lick on her neck. Right behind the ear is what I prefer. Go ahead and whisper some nasty shit like, “I wanna see what that pussy taste like.” I know I start to cream when a muthafucka talks to me like that, and I’m almost positive other start to cream as well. Now, the next step is strictly for you.
While you are kissing her neck and talking nasty shit to her move your hand from her titties to her pussy. Don’t be scared muthafucka. You MUST touch it! I say this because you are required by UNWRITTEN SEX LAW to see what it smells like. You wanna smell your fingers discreetly though. You can ignore this step if you want to. I would advise against it. You can’t let her see you doing it. The Bitch’s Pun Pun should already be clean, but hey, there are some triflin’ hoes out there. How do you smell your fingers you ask? Well, while you are fingering her, you'll want to lay her completely flat on her back and put one of those tittes in your mouth with the hand that you put between her legs and smell your finger. Another thing you can do is to spread her legs and start kissing her thighs. This will allow you to quickly sniff your fingers and also get a feel as to what being down there feels like. Now if her pussy is fonky well you have to get the fuck out of there. Look for your fucking phone, make up an excuse, do something. Don’t worry about hurting her feelings, because a fonky pussy is offensive to any damn body and it should certainly be offensive to you.
A woman’s vagina is supposed to smell like nothing! Especially if you are planning on eating her pussy. Now if that is the case, then go ahead and take those panties off. The pussy should be quite wet by now. Go ahead play with it, finger it, taste your fingers, talk to it. Tell it how pretty is, how sweet it smells. Lick it once. Kiss it twice. Now pretend like it’s a Jolly Rancher (Sour Apple Flavor), and suck it. Don’t be afraid of her juices. Rub your whole face in it. Now apply more pressure to that Pearl Tongue with your tongue. She should be moaning by now. She might even grab your head or ears. I know I would. Now put one of those fingers inside her wet wet pussy, two if you can. Now go in and out, in and out, all the while, making small quick circles with your tongue around her Pearl Tongue. FOCUS ON THE CLIT PLEASE!!!! Sucking, kissing, spitting, and licking the Pearl is what you should be doing. Now if she is a Bitch like me, then your face will be quite messy from her creaming and squirting all over you. Hell, you might wanna make sure to take your shirt off because that will definitely get fucked up by me. I repeat, if she is a Bitch like me. You can’t be afraid to make a mess when you’re determined to eat the pussy right.
Now continue on with the kissing and licking and all of that shit. You want to pay attention to her breathing. Yeah, yeah her moaning and singing to the Gods is all fine and dandy, but how is her breathing? Pay attention to those stomach muscles. A woman shouldn’t have to tell you when she is about to come while you are eating her pussy. Her moans will turn into a heavy breathing. Her stomach rises and falls slowly. Her heavy breathing will turn into panting. Her stomach will go up and down quickly. Her panting will turn into blowing air through her nose or mouth. Her stomach will resemble a fucking seizure! Keep your tongue moving and keep your pace. I know I can’t stand it when a muthafucka can’t keep his rhythm. That will cause her to lose that nut. If you are doing it right, her pussy will start to have convulsions. Her Pearl Tongue should be hard, the opening of her vagina will contract. Then you should soon taste the fruits of your labor. Lick that shit up! Tell her how good it is. Finger it some more. Kiss it. Kiss and lick it at the same time. Tell the pussy that you love it. Hell, you better love it if you put your mouth on it. When you finally look up at her she should have an exhausted look of pleasure on her face. If she does, well you have done the job right. If she doesn't, then practice some more!
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