With His Married Black Ass

Sometimes I really just sit back and think about all of the bullshit that I have gone through when it comes to relationships with men. I mean, I have really been through some stuff. I am just happy that a lot of things are just hilarious to me now. I haven't written on my Blog in years. Last week, I was telling my friend Sheena about this situation. Did I ever tell y’all about my ex who I found out was married? Nope? Ok well here is the story…

(Imagine him speaking in a thick ass Belizean Accent)

So when I was 20 years old I met this man who was 13 years older than me. I was with my friend Jaquese at Home Depot on Slauson and Western in L.A. I saw this tall, dark chocolate, thick ass man who kept walking by me like he was looking for something on the isle that I was on. He wasn’t looking for anything. He was trying to see if I was with a man. I was looking at him too though. He was so damn fine and chocolatey creamy looking. Every time he caught me looking at him I would quickly turn my head away and look up, down, to the side, at my nails…something. So, I guess he figured out that I was with my homegirl because he walked over to me. In the most seductive Belizean accent he said “Baybee Gurrl. What is your name?” Chyle, I swear I just stood there and looked at his mouth…GOOD LAWD his mouth! So, I said, “Nicole”. He asked, “Who ya in here with? That girl right dere?” I nodded my head. “How old are you?” I let him know that I was 20 years old and my 21 st birthday was in September. “Well look, let’s eschiange numbers” So we exchanged numbers. Then this fool said, “But I’m not going to call you until ya burtday. I don’t talk to people who can’t drink legally!” and this man walked about of my life until the morning of September 7^th. I didn’t even know his name.

So months went by and I didn’t hear from this guy. I had his number, but I was not going to be the first to call aman. Time passed and eventually, he didn’t even cross my mind, but on the morning of my birthday I got a phone call. The person said “Happy burtday Baybee Gurl!”. I immediately knew who it was because of his accent. We had a nice long conversation that morning, but I kept on having to ask him to repeat himself because I couldn’t understand some of the things he was saying. We talked about all kinds of things. What he told me during the phone call is that he is was 27 years old, he had one 10 year old son, he lived with his cousins, and he was single. Now I also found out his name, but I’ll just refer to him as “R.R.”. That night, we went to Cozymel’s Mexican Restaurant in El Segundo near Pacific Theaters ( I don’t know if the restaurant or the theater is still there). From that day on I was with that man almost every day for about 1 year. He told me that I was his “Baybee Gurl”.

                Now, the 21 year old me thought that we had a pretty good relationship. This man took care of me. He paid for everything including my bills and gave me money to go shopping. Y’all know how I love to go shopping. I didn’t worry about anything. I was also working 2 jobs and going to college. Outside of the time that I spent with him, my friends, and going to college I didn’t have time to worry too much about anything outside of my immediate world. He is actually the first man (on a very short list) to ever give me an orgasm by penetration. I mean I was crying, snotty nosed, body shaking, legs weak and tingly, dazed and confused…alldat! My world was wonderful at that time, but during the summer when school was out, I had time to analyze some things. I begin to pay attention to some things that were off. For example, he NEVER spent the night at my house. This Negro would not stay passed midnight. If he wasn’t at my house during the evening he was not able to be reached. I mean his phone would ring straight to voicemail. Now, how the hell was I supposed to contact my man if I needed something? I never met his friends either. I only met his triflin’ ass cousins because they knew what his real story was. They had his back and were not going to expose him.

One day he came over to my house and we were having a regular conversation about his birthday. I don’t remember why, but I said “How old are you again?”. This fool looked at me all puzzled with a dumbass look on his face and said “How old did I tell you I was again?”. I looked at him with fire in my eyes. With just that one question I realized that he was just a low down, dirty, black ass liar, with a split tongue. I said “HOW. OLD. ARE.YOU. R.R.?”. He stood up, turned towards me and said in a very matter of fact tone “I’m tirty tree yars old Baybee!”. Well I fucking lost it! Before I knew it I had jumped up out of the bed and I was in his face calling him a liar. I know he must’ve had all kinds of spit particles in his beard. He is 6’1” and I am 5’2”, but I swear I was so close to him that my nose was touching his nose. I must’ve scared the shit outta him because he left my apartment like somebody had screamed “fire”. He was outta there and didn’t hear from him for a few days.

Time went by and I finally got a call from him. I wasn’t about to call him. I was so mad at him for lying about his age, especially since he was SO concerned about my age. Remember he didn’t reach out to me until my actual 21^st birthday. So he made it up to me by apologizing, buying me things, and giving me penis and head. Don’t judge me. Don’t forget I was 21 years old at the time, ok! As far as I was concerned things were back good with us. I forgave him for lying about his age. He blamed it on him not wanting me to be dissuaded by that fact that he was so much older than I was. I decided to let the age gap go because I like the things that I was getting from him, including the attention that he gave me. So, weeks went on and we are back to normal life. I was happy about my relationship…proud! So much so that I began to talk about him to other people. Some people who I didn’t even know personally.

At the beginning of our relationship I became a teller at a bank. I was a pretty good teller, but I have excellent customer service skills. My bank customers used to wait for me instead of letting another teller help them. I would talk to my customers about everything from new born babies to incarcerated family members. I used to get gifts sometimes, even though we weren’t supposed to accept them. On one particular day I had a regular come in. By this time I had my 22^nd birthday and the relationship between R.R. and I had changed a little as far as the time that he spent with me, but we were still good. The customer that came in was a nurse at a convalescent home. She was a pretty brown-skinned lady, with almond eyes and perfect teeth. Baby was a big girl too though. She patiently waited for me to finish with the customer ahead of me. When it was her turn she walked to my window with a big ol’ smile on her face. We had a conversation like usual. She talked about her job while she signed the back of her check. This time, I paid attention to her accent. I realized that this lady was from Belize. I asked her, she confirmed, handed me her check and cash, and started to fill out her deposit slip. We were talking about spouses and significant others. I was talking to her about how R.R. looked and everything. So what did I do with my happy-go-lucky, proud to have a man, 22 year old ass? I said “Oh, my boyfriend is actually from Belize. He still has a really thick accent. His name is R.R.” No why in the fuck did I do that? That woman looked at me with shock on her face. Like she couldn’t believe what I had just told her. She immediately said nothing else to me, put her head down, and finished filling out her deposit slip. I was shocked my damn self to see her reaction. I was confused and I had a real bad attitude problem at that age, so I leaned my lil chunky face closer to the teller window, knocked on the glass and I said, “Ummm…excuse me! Why did you stop talking to me? Are you sleeping with my boyfriend?” Her look turned to disgust. My co-workers all stopped counting cash and looked at me like I was about to lose my job. The lady at my teller window said “What?!?”. I said “Well, we were having a nice conversation and when I told you his name you looked at me crazy and stopped talking to me! Are you sleeping with him or something?”. That lady shook her head and said “No! I am not sleeping with your man, but he is married and I am friends with his wife!”

Chyle, my whole lil dumbass world stopped. She went on to describe to me what type of cars he drove, where he was working, told me his wife’s name and age, and gave me a general description of where they lived. By the end of our conversation I was in tears. At the time I figured that she had realized that I really had no idea that he was married, and she had divulged too much information to me, because she told me not to tell him where I got the information. At my current age, I feel like she knew who I was and maybe she WAS actually sleeping with him. All of the information she gave me about him was true though. I figured out exactly where they lived. I decided to see if they had an account with the bank that I worked for. Sure enough, they did. I got that address…and I drove to his house one night. That asshole lived right down the street from the Home Depot where I met him. I didn’t knock on the door because I HEARD that Belizeans are crazy! I do have a few crazy ass Belizean friends too. So, I decided to sit my lil scary ass outside and watch his house. After a little while I saw them…him and his family. Him. His uglass wife. His black ass lil boy. He had a family. I cried. I was hurt. But I didn’t leave him…not right away. I had my reasons.

Tax season was coming up. Yep! Now remember, this man used to take care of me. He had promised me a car. I wanted my damn motherfucking car man! I was torn between accepting the gift and just leaving him alone. I didn’t want to feel like I was taking anything from another woman’s household. I even talked to my college professor about the situation. Her name was Dr. Carol Provo. She told me to leave that man alone and let him keep his car. Dr. Provo told me to buy my own car and I didn’t need his money. The problem wither advice is that I was 22 years old, and she told me to do something that a mature, reasonable smart person would do. I was dumb y’all! Just 22 years old. I thought that more than a year of my life spent with this man full of lies was worth me getting at least a vehicle. So I stayed in the relationship with him. He purchased me a 1992 Mitsubishi Eclipse.

After I got my lil bucket I revealed to him that I knew he had a wife and family. His black ass turned pale purple! He just sat on my bed and said “Ooh tol ya dat? I’m not married! Do you see me with a ring on my finger?” I didn’t tell him who gave me the information. I just made it very clear that I knew for sure that he was married. He still didn’t come clean, but after that we were no longer in a relationship. He no longer called me, came by my house, or came by my job. I didn’t see that man anymore for years.

Recently, I discovered that the woman who exposed him did not tell me everything about R.R.’s lies. probably because her her ol' smilin' faced ass was sleeping with him too, and she wanted my lil young ass out of the picture! But I digress. Last year R.R. and I had been in contact. He told me that he was divorced. He apologized for lying to me and hurting me. By that time, I had been through so much with other relationships that his issues no longer bothered me. I considered the situation between us as part of life’s lessons. I decided to see him. When I saw him he had one of his co-signing lying ass cousins in the car with him. I knew right away that this was about to be some foolishness and fuckery. We went to lunch at this Chinese food restaurant in Gardena. It is located in the shopping center off of Van Ness and Rosecrans. Ummm…yes…his cousin was with us. The whole time his cousin is talking about how R.R. is not married. While we were eating R.R. gets a call from his daughter. Yes! His damn daughter. I thought to myself “When the fuck did he get a daughter?” Turns out R.R. has 4 children. Two girls and two boys. Three of his children are in their 20’s. Two of his children are the same age and 1 month apart. His oldest son plays professional football in another state. He has 3 baby mamas. In addition, this fool is still married.